


Black Cat (or a White Elephant)

by Lisa_Telramor



Category: Magic Kaito
Genre: Cat, Gen, Genderswap, Random & Short, unwanted gift
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:27:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23352436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lisa_Telramor/pseuds/Lisa_Telramor
Summary: Kaito gets a surprise package from Europe on her doorstep.
Relationships: Kuroba Kaito & Chat Noir
Comments: 6
Kudos: 37





	Black Cat (or a White Elephant)

**Author's Note:**

> Every now and then I pull out a DCMK genderbend fic I started in 2012. Probably never going to finish or edit it to be honest. But. Because it took a sidestep and became an AU of an AU partway through (thus why it either needs compatibility editing i can’t be assed to do or made into 2 different things...) I had a few scenes that no longer fit. This is one of them, so the genderbending is kind of a side note. Also in this AU Kaito and Saguru started forming a sort of tentative friendship sooner than later. 
> 
> Aoshi=Aoko. Could never figure a genderbend equivalent for Kaito or Saguru that didn't sound weird. Kaito's kanji are a little different but I really don't know what to do with Saguru so I never changed them when I wrote this. (it's been ~2 years since I wrote much of anything in that universe, and this is from 2012. I think. Maybe 2011. It's old and one of the early things I wrote in the GB fic.)

Kaito poked the box with her toe. The creature in it growled and thumped around the plastic interior. Kaito pulled out her cell phone. It was answered on the second ring.

_“Hello?”_

“Did you mail me a kitten?” Coughing and sputtering came from the other end of the phone conversation.

_“…What?”_

“Did you mail me a kitten?” The cat in the box was quiet again. Too quiet.

 _“Why would you think I sent you a kitten?”_ Hakuba sounded like she swallowed a sip of tea wrong.

Kaito squatted down to the box’s label. “I just signed off on an air-mailed package from Europe. A package containing a cat.”

 _“And you thought_ I _sent it?”_

“Well…” Not really, no. She couldn’t see Hakuba sending anything other than the occasional letters from halfway across the world, and certainly not something like a cat. “It was kind of a stretch, but I don’t really know anyone…from…Europe. Huh.” Kaito peeked through the hole in the box. Black fur.

“ _I take it you figured out your mystery cat mailer?”_ Hakuba’s dry tone was something Kaito found herself missing. She could go without the superior attitude it often accompanied, but Hakuba could be a wonderful straight-man to Kaito’s goofiness if she’d play along.

“I think I might have an idea.” She did know _one_ other person in Europe. And Chat Noir was probably the only person who would think to send Kaito a black cat.

_“Does it have a name?”_

“I don’t know. I haven’t opened the box yet.”

_“Great, call it Schrodinger.”_

Kaito snorted. “I’m not naming a cat Schrodinger. And I’m pretty certain the cat in there is alive since it was growling at me just a minute ago. Besides, that’s a mouthful.”

“ _Then shorten it to Schrodi. Or Ding.”_ It sounded like Hakuba was holding back laughter.

“Just a sec.” Kaito opened the cat crate. A black furred body shot out of the opening in a blur of fluffed fur and claws. It hid under the couch glaring at Kaito irritably. It probably blamed her for the nasty cross-continental trip. Taped inside the crate was a short letter. “Her name’s Estelle and she’s supposed to keep me company.”

_“Does this person realize you have enough doves to supply wedding halls with complimentary flights across the chapel?”_

“Probably not.” Hmm, a cat and doves. This wouldn’t turn out well would it? The cat growled from under the couch. “Well I can’t ship it back to Europe.”

 _“Keep it on a trial basis,”_ Hakuba advised. _“If it gets into trouble, Aoshi seems like the type who would like a pet.”_

“Good idea.” Kaito crumpled the note and went in search of something a cat could eat. She was pretty sure there was canned chicken in some cupboard. Honestly this could just as easily be a way of messing with her than Chat Noir sending a thoughtful gift. She would have appreciated some notice at least. “Cats eat chicken, right?”

“ _And fish.”_ Kaito flinched, almost dropping the can and her phone. The damn f-word. _“I wish you luck as the new, proud owner of a cat.”_

“I’ll let you know if it lasts the week.” She set the dish of canned chicken in the center of the living room and retreated to a chair on the opposite side of the room as the cat. “Thanks for not being the one sending me a cat.”

 _“I can safely say that I will never be the person air mailing you a cat, Kuroba.”_ Hakuba was surely smiling on the other end. _“I should be able to visit Japan in the future. This is your fair warning.”_

“I’m not KID,” Kaito said automatically. It was practically a scripted part of their conversations by now. “But it will be good to catch up. I’ll pass along the news to Aoshi.”

_“Good. Maybe you’ll get to meet Watson.”_

“Can you get a European sparrow-hawk through customs?”

_“With the right papers you can get just about anything through customs.”_

“True.” The cat stuck her head out from under the couch. Her ears flicked back and forth in Kaito’s direction in time with her voice. Paw-step by paw-step, she crept until she reached the bowl in the middle of the room. Her tail twitched. Kaito could see her preparing from a trap. “I’ll see you around, Hakuba.”

 _“Have a good morning, Kuroba.”_ The phone disconnected and Kaito closed her phone silently. The cat finally stooped to eat the chicken. It looked like this would be a long process to get it to trust her. Thankfully Kaito was a patient person when it came to animals. She’d just have to keep the doves _far_ away from dangerous kitty claws. “Hey, Estelle,” Kaito murmured. Ears flicked forward, but she kept gulping down the chicken. “What is Chat Noir thinking sending you, kitty cat?” Estelle growled. It was going to be a _very_ long process.

*o*o*o*o*

“ _Allô? C'est de la part de qui_?”

“Ms. Jones?” Kaito purred in her best Kid voice. “Just calling to inform you that your _gift_ might not live until her adult fur grows in.”

“ _Kaitou Kid,”_ Chat Noir said, sounding pleased. “ _So you received Estelle_.”

“Yes.” Kaito glared at the cat currently trapped under a laundry basket. It was alternating between batting at a feather and glaring at her with big, yellow eyes. “I don’t think we’ve hit it off.”

Chat Noir laughed. “ _Cats are picky. Friendship is something that must be earned._ ”

“Well she isn’t really helping me like her.” Kaito shifted her phone to the other ear so that she could better soothe the dove on her forearm. Poor Karui was missing feathers from her tail and still shaking an hour after Kaito found her trying and failing to escape the cat. “She tried to eat my doves.”

 _“You keep birds?”_ There was a sigh from the other end. “ _No, no, of course you keep birds. You are self-proclaimed a magician-thief. You have kept them separate; you would not be so foolish as to let a cat into the roost, so to speak.”_

“Of course, I’m not stupid.” Kaito skritched at Karui’s feathers along her head and neck like she enjoyed. The trembling became soft coos of contentment. “Accidents, however, happen and I can’t watch her all the time.” The cat in the basket chose that moment to meow loudly and authoritatively, like it could convince Kaito to let it out. She scowled at it. “The cat likes my neighbor for some reason. She climbs onto his shoulder and everything.”

“ _Does this neighbor like Estelle?”_

“Terribly.” Estelle meowed again. Karui ruffled her feathers and shuffled higher along Kaito’s shoulder.

“ _Give her a bit more time. If she remains a nuisance, your neighbor would be a good home.”_ Chat Noir sounded amused. She probably was enjoying one-upping Kaito in some way even if it was in the form of a gift-turned-irritant.

“Fine. I wanted to be sure that there would be no hard feelings if this were the case.” Kaito transferred Karui to the perch she kept in her room for when she trained her doves. Karui scooted to her favorite place by the edge that was scored with hundreds of claw indentations from generations of doves. Kaito squatted to look at the cat. Surprisingly, Estelle didn’t hiss.

“ _None at all,”_ Chat Noir said. “ _She was sent with good intentions. I am glad to hear that you have companions of the human sort.”_ There was almost a question in her tone. Kaito frowned.

“He doesn’t know. I have friends who do, so please butt out.”

 _“Territorial, no?”_ Chat Noir was definitely laughing on her end of the phone. _“Do I count among these friends, Petite Phantom?”_

Kaito snorted and stuck out a hand for Estelle to sniff. The kitten sneezed. “Maybe. Maybe not.” She was still annoyed that Chat Noir knew where to send the package. Kaito would have to respond in kind… Although knowing her phone number probably was equally invasive for people who liked their private lives to remain private. “I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt.” Estelle licked Kaito’s fingers before biting her pinky with needle teeth. Kaito winced. Thankfully she couldn’t bite too hard since she was still a kitten.

 _“Then I wish you luck with this…male friend.”_ She was grinning and Kaito was going to send her something nasty. Maybe a package that spat blue dye onto everything the moment it was opened. Or combining it with a glitter bomb. She would find glitter in places for years.

“It’s not like that, and thanks anyway.” Estelle was licking her hand again, but she was keeping her teeth to herself. Aoshi was going to love his new kitten. Love. And Kaito would gladly send the cat-toys, litter, food, and water dishes with her. “A pleasant day to you.”

“ _And to you, Kuroba-chan.”_

Kaito winced. “Please don’t.” Chat Noir laughed and Kaito hung up the phone. It was probably a waste of an international phone call. At least she knew that the cat hadn’t been sent just to harass her. She was sure there was a little bit of harassment involved though. Chat Noir seemed intent on fitting into some kind of older sister role. It was annoying. Kaito could take care of herself and she certainly didn’t want anyone meddling. But Chat Noir wasn’t too bad. Kaito had wanted someone for cross dressing tips after all. Estelle bit Kaito’s finger again. She glared at the innocent, wide yellow eyes.

“You. You are going to live with Aoshi.”

Estelle purred low in her throat, rubbing against Kaito and the laundry basket. There would be fur stuck to the plastic next time Kaito went to use it.

“Don’t play cute. You just want out so you can murder my pretty birdies.” She was too much of a softie if a bit of purring and rubbing earned her forgiveness. Estelle mewed and butted her head against Kaito’s fingers, rubbing her whole body along them. “That counts as bribery. You’re not winning any points.” The kitten made a churring sound deep in her throat. Kaito sighed. “Fine. But far from Karui. You almost scared her to death.”

She lifted off the basket and scooped the ball of fluff into her arms. Pinpricks of claws immediately dug into her chest and forearm. “Yeah, yeah. I know.” Kaito scratched the fuzzy triangular ears and the kitten purred even as she tried to eat a button on Kaito’s shirt. “I’m sure Aoshi will spoil you rotten.” The kitten went back to the living room where she was supposed to be and Kaito closed her door firmly with Karui safe inside. The dovecot was closed for the night as well and not even a particularly intrepid cat would get in or out of there tonight. She’d talk to Aoshi in the morning. He’d probably even hug her for it. That was one upshot of an unwanted cat. And Hakuba would laugh her head off when she told her… internally. Kaito couldn’t really see Hakuba laughing hard out loud for anything short of Kaitou Kid doing something both embarrassing and entrapping. And even then it would be smug. Actually, screw Hakuba. Kaito wasn’t telling her anything. Estelle, after a day of mischief, was finally asleep.


End file.
